


two for the price of one

by buckybarnes



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Columbus Blue Jackets, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Pre-Everything Terrible That Just Happened, Pre-Expansion Draft, Pre-Trade, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-18 08:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11287962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybarnes/pseuds/buckybarnes
Summary: Brandon's not actually dating Alex, because Alex is actually dating Bill.Brandon wishes things were easier.





	two for the price of one

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shihadchick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shihadchick/gifts).



> for my lovely poly exchange recipient; you said you like fake dating, so hopefully this satisfies! <3
> 
> so, uh, a lot of things happened while i was writing this. for example, 2/3 OF THE PAIRING WERE SHIPPED OFF TO OTHER TEAMS. i am very sad but i wish my babies all the best in their new homes and pray for alex wennberg's happiness. 
> 
> title is from "two for the price of one" by abba, because how could i resist?

Brandon is fucked.

He knows it’s entirely his own fault. Lying to your mother pretty much always has negative consequences. But after about the twentieth mention of finding Brandon a date for the family reunion, it just slips out.

“I’m already seeing someone, Mom,” Brandon hears himself say.

Brandon’s mom almost drops the casserole dish she’s holding, squealing and wrapping him in a painfully tight hug.

“Oh, honey,” she says, and Jesus, was she crying? “I’m just so happy for you.” She pulls back slightly, wiping her eyes with her shirt sleeve. She eyes him for a moment before swatting him on the shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your _mother_.”

Brandon winces, rubbing at his shoulder. “I was going to, it’s just… new. I wanted to wait.” Brandon’s never been a good liar.

“Well, you have to tell me everything now,” his mom says, walking around the kitchen to sit on one of the stools by the counter. Oh, God. Brandon doesn’t think he can whip out an in-depth backstory right now.

Miraculously, as if the universe is looking out for Brandon’s poor, lonely ass, the phone in the living room rings. Brandon’s mom jumps up to get it.

“Hold that thought,” she says, but Brandon is up and blocking the doorway before she can get there.

“Actually, I really have to get going,” he says, trying his best to look apologetic. “I promised a friend that I’d help him move his… dog.” He winces again.

Brandon’s mom gives him a look, but the phone is still ringing incessantly, so she just sighs and pushes past him. Crisis averted.

“You better bring that mystery man this Saturday!” She yells from the living room.

Yep, Brandon is fucked.

\---

He calls Cam first.

“Nah, dude, I’m busy on Saturday,” Cam says, and Brandon groans. “I’m going fishing with my brothers. Besides, your parents know me. They wouldn’t believe that we’re dating. They know how completely out of your league I am.”

“I don’t have anyone else to _ask_ ,” Brandon says miserably, ignoring Cam’s jab. He knows he could get any guy on the team, easy.

There’s a moment of silence across the line while Cam thinks. “You could ask Alex,” he says finally. “You guys are friends, right?”

Brandon furrows his brow. There’s a very specific reason that he hadn’t asked Alex.

“He’s dating Bill,” Brandon says slowly. “You think Bill would be okay with me pretending to date his boyfriend?”

“It couldn’t hurt to ask,” Cam says. It sounds like he’s about to say something else when Brandon hears the deafening yapping of a fifteen-pound dog in the background. “Shit, Easton!” Cam yells, and Brandon holds the phone back from his ear. “Sorry, man, I gotta go. Seriously, just ask them.” And then the line goes dead.

\---

It takes two more days of Brandon coming to terms with the fact that he has no other options before he shows up on Alex’s doorstep. He rings the doorbell, rocking back on his heels nervously.

Of course, Bill opens the door. He’s shirtless, a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair dripping wet from a shower. Brandon has to take a moment to remember how to use words. Fucking Swedes.

Bill smiles, huge, excited, like he always does. “Brandon! What a wonderful surprise. Come in, don’t just stand there.” Bill moves back, allowing Brandon to shuffle awkwardly into the apartment. “Were you looking for Alex?”

“I, uh, was looking for both of you, I guess,” Brandon says, nearly whacking his head into a coatrack. This is going to go well.

“Oh, well, Alex is in the shower,” Bill says as he sits down on the couch. Apparently having a guest is no incentive for him to put clothes on, which, okay. Bill’s looking at Brandon, smiling pleasantly. “Is there anything you can talk to just me about?”

Brandon had thought about a number of ways to go about this. He already knows that this is not going to go according to plan.

“How long have you and Alex been together?” Brandon blurts out. Alright, that’s one way to do it.

Bill looks confused by the question, but he’s still smiling. “Well, we got together the summer after I was traded,” Bill says slowly. “So almost two years now.”

“So,” Brandon says, trying his absolute best to be delicate, “you would say that you’re pretty secure in your relationship, right? Like, you wouldn’t get jealous if Alex was close to someone else?”

Bill narrows his eyes. He glances back towards the bathroom, where the shower has stopped running, and then leans in closer to Brandon. “Brandon,” Bill says, voice lowered, “are you asking if Alex and I would be interested in a threesome? Because we would totally–“

“No!” Brandon squawks, nearly falling out of his seat. Bill leans back, looking confused again. “I mean, thank you for the offer, really,” Brandon stutters. “Just, uh, that’s not what I was getting at.”

Bill shrugs sheepishly. “Sorry, man, I didn’t mean to assume. What is it, then?”

“Brandon!” Alex’s voice nearly startles Brandon out of his seat. Alex, like Bill, is wearing only a towel, because apparently no one wears clothes in this house.

“You should have told me we had company,” Alex says, walking around the couch to press a quick kiss to Bill’s cheek before sitting down beside him, hand resting on Bill’s thigh. For some reason, it makes Brandon blush.

“Brandon came over to talk to us about something,” Bill explains. “Go ahead, Brandon.”

And yeah, Brandon plays hockey in front of thousands of people, but being stared at this intently by two shirtless Swedes is a unique kind of pressure.

Brandon clears his throat. “I, uh, wanted to ask a favor,” he says, trying not to mumble. “I’ve got a family reunion coming up and I kind of promised my mom I’d bring a date.” Brandon pauses for a moment, considers backing out before he just goes for it. “Alex, would you want to go with me?”

Alex stares at him for a few moments like he’s considering something. And then he breaks into a huge, blindingly white smile.

“Brandon, I’d be honored to be your date,” Alex says, standing up to walk over to where Brandon is sitting and clap him on the back. Brandon coughs a bit.

“Wait, you’re… totally fine with it?” Brandon asks Bill, sounding unconvinced.

“Why would I mind? You two are great friends. It’s completely fine,” Bill assures him. “And trust me, he’s great at buttering up parents,” Bill says, winking.

So, Brandon is not-really-dating Alex Wennberg.

\---

Alex had insisted on picking Brandon up. He’d grumbled something on the phone about Bill never letting him drive. Whatever, Brandon had thought. A little extra chivalry to impress the parents never hurt. What Brandon hadn’t expected was for Alex to show up on his doorstep with a goddamn _bouquet._

Brandon has to remember to close his mouth, as it’s currently hanging wide open. Alex is impeccably dressed – when isn’t he – and he’s standing in front of Brandon with a goofy grin on his face and six tulips in his hand.

Alex’s smile is starting to fade, and he’s clearly confused by Brandon’s silence. “Oh, do you – do you not like tulips? The woman at the shop said – “

“No, no,” Brandon interrupts. “They’re beautiful, Alex. I just wasn’t expecting…” Brandon waves his hand vaguely in the direction of the flowers.

Alex grins again. “I am a gentleman. Only the best for my fake boyfriend, yes? Bill always likes it when I bring him flowers, anyway. I thought I could at least do the same for you.”  
Brandon forces a smile back, feeling decidedly worse about this entire situation with every passing second. He invites Alex in, because he’s polite, although he’d really just like to get to his parents’ house and get this over with as soon as humanly possible.

Alex mills around Brandon’s apartment while Brandon hunts through the kitchen for something to put the flowers in – he discovers that he doesn’t own a vase, so they end up in a pint glass that’s way too short, but it gets the job done.

When Brandon reenters the living room, Alex is rocking back and forth on his heels. If Brandon didn’t know better, he’d say Alex looked nervous, but that’s stupid. Guys like Alex Wennberg don’t get nervous for fake dates with their friends.

When Alex sees Brandon, though, his expression changes instantly; he smiles and honest-to-God puts his arm out for Brandon, like they’re about to go for a walk through the park.

“Ready, darling?” Alex asks, winking playfully.

This can really only go poorly.

\---

The drive to Brandon’s parents’ house is relatively quiet; Alex flips through the radio stations and hums along to a Taylor Swift song. Brandon really hopes that he doesn’t look as nervous as he feels.

Alex parks the car in front of the house and neither of them get out right away. It’s too quiet, suddenly, without the background hum of repetitive pop music. It feels like there isn’t enough air in the car and Brandon can feel Alex watching him.

“Are you okay?” Alex asks, sounding worried. “You look… pale.”

Brandon forces a smile. “Fine,” he says, waving his hand. “Let’s do this.”

They walk up the concrete steps to the front door together. When Brandon turns the doorknob with his left hand, his right hand is holding Alex’s.

Brandon guides Alex through the living room, carefully stepping over his little cousins who have decided to roll around on the floor. They’re not late, but most of the adults have already gathered in the dining room. A few of the relatives his age are sitting around the television chatting, and they give Brandon a friendly wave, which he returns. One of the women, whose name Brandon feels a bit guilty about not knowing despite the fact he’s probably only met her once or twice in his life, raises her eyebrows at Alex. Brandon coughs and gestures towards the dining room.

“My parents are probably in there,” Brandon mumbles. Alex beams.

“I can’t wait to meet them,” Alex says, and this time he leads Brandon.

Brandon’s parents are sitting at the table drinking wine and laughing with distant relatives that Brandon’s never met. His mom spots them first; she gasps, pushes her chair back and half-runs over to them. She hugs Brandon first, squeezing him like she hasn’t seen him in years even though it’s been less than a week. When she pulls back, she looks over Alex. She’s beaming and a little bit teary-eyed.

“Brandon,” she asks, clearing her throat, “would you like to introduce us?”

“Mom, this is Alex,” Brandon says, deadpan.

Alex rolls his eyes and throws an arm around Brandon’s shoulders. “He’s a brat sometimes, huh?” That makes Brandon’s mom giggle. She’s looking at Alex with hearts in her eyes and Brandon wouldn’t be shocked if she’s already mentally planning the wedding.

“Well,” Brandon says, coughing, “we better go, uh, socialize. Come on, Alex.” Brandon grabs at Alex’s arm, determined to get him away from his mother as soon as possible. She gives him a look but doesn’t say anything, and Brandon leads Alex back through the house.

Alex is amazing. He shakes hands with all of Brandon’s relatives, laughs at his uncle’s horrible jokes, plays with his little cousins. What Brandon likes most though, is the way Alex smiles at him, the way he seems to make sure that they’re always touching, Alex’s hand on Brandon’s arm or thigh. Bill was right, Brandon thinks. Alex is a really great boyfriend.

So great, in fact, that Brandon starts to forget that none of this is actually real. Which could be potentially problematic. Brandon's not actually dating Alex, because Alex is actually dating Bill.

Brandon wishes things were easier.

After about an hour, when Brandon’s made sure he’s spoken to everyone he recognizes, he motions to Alex that it’s time to leave. He avoids saying goodbye to his parents, which he’s sure he’ll get yelled at on the phone for later, but Brandon can’t really handle his mom looking at Alex like he’s a piece of meat anymore today.

They chat on the drive back, mostly Alex going on about how nice Brandon’s family was. Brandon kind of just stares at him the whole time, watching how his face lights up when talks.

When they reach Brandon’s apartment, Alex walks Brandon to the door, because like he said, he’s a gentleman.

“I had fun today,” Alex says, smiling. The sun is behind him and it makes Alex look golden. Brandon can’t believe how beautiful he looks.

“I really appreciate you coming,” Brandon says, turning his key in the lock and pushing the door open. He hesitates, turns back and looks at Alex. Brandon had only had two glasses of wine, knows that he’s completely control of what he’s doing. He puts his hand on Alex's cheek and kisses him, feather-light and barely there.

It lasts for all of three seconds before Alex pulls away. Alex looks confused, like he doesn’t know what to say.

“Brandon…” Alex says, sounding pained.

“Fuck,” Brandon mutters. “I’m sorry.” And then he steps inside and shuts the door behind him without another word.

\---

Alex doesn’t talk to Brandon for a week. If Brandon is being honest, it’s hard to tell if Alex is avoiding him or if it’s the other way around, since Brandon really only leaves his house to drown his sorrows in fast food.

Brandon’s lying in bed on a Saturday afternoon watching a Food Network marathon, which is really one of the highest forms of feeling sorry for yourself. He feels like absolute shit; he ruined his friendship with Alex and assuming that Alex told Bill about the kiss, Bill probably wants to kill him.

So, of course, when his phone buzzes with a text message, it’s Bill.

_Come over. Wanna talk. Just me_

Now, physically, Brandon doesn’t think that Bill could kick his ass if Brandon were fighting back. But given that Brandon feels like the biggest asshole in the world, he thinks that he would let Bill give him a beating if he wanted to.

 _Omw_ , Brandon texts back. He drags himself out of bed and throws on a pair of sweatpants. He knows he probably looks terrible, but he just can’t find it in him to care.

When he gets to the apartment, he’s only knocked once before the door is swinging wide open. Bill’s standing there, his expression unreadable. He doesn’t _look_ like he wants to kick Brandon’s ass.

“Come in,” Bill says, and Brandon does. Bill leads him to the living room, where he sits down on the couch. Brandon sits in the chair across from him. It feels a lot like when Brandon was here before, except Alex isn’t here this time.

Bill stares at him for a long moment. Finally, he says, “Brandon, I’m not mad at you.”

Brandon blinks. That’s certainly not what he expected.

“For kissing Alex,” Bill clarifies, like Brandon possibly needed clarification. “It’s okay.” He takes a deep breath. “I - we - want you to spend more time with us. Together,” Bill adds with a small smile.

“Yeah. I want us to all be closer,” Bill says. “Alex agrees. He just thought that this conversation should be between you and I.”

Brandon is speechless, but he manages a squeaky, “Alright.”

Bill grins, and huh. Brandon’s never really noticed his smile before.

It’s nice.

\---

So, Brandon starts hanging out with Bill and Alex. A lot. They invite him to dinner, to the movies, to just hang out in their apartment and play video games. It should feel weird, like Brandon is a third wheel, but it doesn’t. He’s never felt more comfortable.

One night, when the credits for a horror movie that they’d spent more time on the couch wrestling with each other than actually watching are rolling, Alex sits up and clears his throat. He clicks the TV off and Brandon glances over at him.

“Everything okay?” Brandon asks. Alex isn’t looking at Brandon, though; he’s looking at Bill. For all the time that Brandon has spent with them, he still can’t understand what they’re saying when they talk with their eyes like that. But then Bill nods and Alex directs his attention to Brandon.

“We wanted to ask you something,” Alex says, uncharacteristically serious. It makes Brandon a little nervous.

“Shoot,” Brandon says, attempting to maintain his cool demeanor. He doesn’t know if it works.

“Brandon,” Bill says slowly, carefully, “remember when I said we’d be totally open to a threesome?”

And Bill might as well have been speaking Swedish, because Brandon is staring at him with zero comprehension. He’s pretty sure he’s hallucinating, but Bill and Alex are staring at him expectantly, soft smiles on their faces.

“You’re… serious?” Brandon asks, his eyebrows going up.

“Brandon, we both really like you,” says Alex, shifting closer to him on the couch. “I thought we’d made that clear, inviting you to hang out with us so often. Obviously, you need a more… explicit gesture.” Alex stands then, extends a hand out to Brandon. Brandon hesitates for less than a second. Alex pulls him up, draws him in close by the waist, and kisses him.

Brandon doesn’t see fireworks or anything, but it’s still a damn good kiss. It’s nothing like the brief touch of lips they’d had outside of Brandon’s apartment. Alex kisses like someone who kisses for a living; he knows what he’s doing. Alex kisses with confidence.

Brandon distantly hears the soft squeak of the couch as Bill stands. He rests his head on Alex’s shoulder and Alex pulls back smiling.

“Pretty boy, no one ever told him he’s supposed to share,” Bill mutters. Alex pulls back further, gives Bill space.

“You’re pretty too, you know,” Alex says, and Bill wraps his arms around Brandon’s neck and goes for it.

Bill kisses differently than Alex; he’s softer, more tentative. Brandon reaches up, tangles his fingers in Bill’s hair. He wouldn’t say that he’s better or worse than Alex; just different. When Bill pulls back, all three of them are smiling.

And then Alex takes one of Brandon’s hands and Bill takes the other and they pull him in the direction of their bedroom, gently, like it’s just a suggestion.

Brandon goes.

\---

When Brandon wakes up the next morning, he’s too hot and a little cramped - Bill and Alex’s bed is big, but not big enough for three NHL players - but he’s happy. He knows he should be worried; he did just sleep with two guys who are very much in a committed relationship. But _they_ had asked _him_. Bill and Alex had wanted Brandon to be a part of their relationship. The thought makes Brandon’s heart flutter.

But then he has another thought, one that’s much more real. What if this is it? Just because Alex and Bill had invited him to their bed once doesn’t make him part of their relationship, not really. What if they’ll just want to go back to being Brandon’s friend after this? Brandon really doesn’t think he can do that.

“I can hear you thinking,” Alex grumbles into his pillow. It startles Brandon a little.

“Hey,” Brandon says, trying to not sound upset, “is this just a one-time thing?”

Alex’s expression softens. “Not if you don’t want it to be.”

Bill’s awake now, too, because he rolls over, buries his face in the crook of Brandon’s neck. “Go back to sleep,” he murmurs.

Brandon falls asleep smiling.


End file.
